Pregnancy Rant

Whew. I just got back from a 2 mile walk. A 2 mile walk that probably took me an hour to complete. "Why?" you may ask... well if you're asking why I walked 2 miles... it's really the only thing active I can do these days. That's why. It makes me feel a little less guilty that I'm not out there taking workout classes, going for a jog, or riding my bike. Now if you're asking why did it take me over an hour to walk 2 miles, well that's because I had to stop multiple times and sit on a curb or lean against a tree under some shade. At one point I actually got a little scared because I was so lightheaded and started to feel like I was going to faint. I was conveniently close to a playground with cozy benches just begging me to sit on them but fortunately enough, the gate to the playground was locked. So what did I do? I parked my ass right on the curb in front of the playground to catch my breath. I felt silly when someone asked me if I was ok and I know they were just trying to me nice, but I just felt frustrated that I couldn't even walk a block with plopping my 30+lbs self (in addition to my prepregnancy weight of course) on the sidewalk.

Now it's weird cause not all days are like this. I just did this same walk last night with Mike and was talking away and walking sort of fast actually. It may have to do with the way the baby is positioned and the time of day itself. It mean, it's summertime now so it's not like the temperature is suitable for a pregnant woman who's already roasting all the time. Mike and I have conveniently switched roles in that I want the AC on ALL.THE.TIME. and he complains that he's freezing. Aw such is life.

Yesterday marked my 34 week milestone. Wow, 34 weeks seems like a long time, considering I found out I was pregnant back in the fall. Now I've got 3 weeks until the baby is officially "cooked" and ready to come out, and another 3 weeks until baby's deadline to come out! That's 6 weeks people and do I feel ready? No... Am I scared? YES! I mean, I seriously had post-partum depression when we got Huey as a puppy. I took everything he did personally and I blamed myself when he wasn't acting like an angel. Having a baby will probably multiply those feelings. But you know what? The good thing is that I've done a lot of reading on babies and I know that we can handle this. It's always so different when it's your first one. You really don't know how it's going to be until you just dive right in and tread the water yourself. Since Molly is due any day now, she's my little test dummy. She's my sister so I can ask her anything, even if I think it may be a dumb question (like one time, I asked her if our dog Bobby could get me pregnant...don't judge, I was only like 9...or maybe it was last week, I can't remember anything these days.) I love having an older sibling because then you learn from them. Learn what NOT to do, OR, in fact, learn what has worked well. So she's my source of comfort these days.

Here's the most recent preggo pic I have. I was 31 weeks when this picture was taken I think. This is actually a dress that I wore last summer (now it works better as a shirt) and if some of you can recall, I was wearing it in our Christmas card photo. Oh, maybe someday I'll have that body back and this "shirt" will pass as a dress once again.

On a side note, I am now officially unemployed. Wahooo right? Well, it's kind of scary actually. Mike and I were talking the other night and he said, "Basically we're gaining an expense and losing an income." Um, yep that pretty much sums it up. Of course we can live comfortably on just one salary so it's great that I don't have to work. However, my whole life I've had a strong work ethic and don't really feel productive if I'm not contributing to society in some way (whether I'm a student or in the working field.) Any money that I brought in before was used merely for fun stuff like vacations, or school stuff like Mike's tuition money with Penn State (sidenote, ridiculously expensive even when the military assists in some way), or simply put, savings. Now that my paycheck won't be coming anymore, I've started to think of other ways that I can bring in some money without having a full time, committed schedule. My first thought was to be a professor online. You've gotta have a masters (bonus since I've checked that box) and that's basically it. I've already contacted some people so we'll see if any of them are interested in me. I've also kept my name on the substitute roster for next school year (but who knows how I can pull that off with a baby because it would be dumb to put the little one in daycare since I'd be paying for it anyway and then I'd only earn a days worth for subbing.) Anyway, the title of this post is "Pregnancy Rant" and I've stopped nothing short of ranting to you readers.

I'm off to go sip some more of my iced pregnancy tea, take a shower and get this baby room thing in order. I always tell my students "too much chaos" when I think things are getting rowdy and out of hand. Well, that's our house now and when your husband tells you that we should be featured on an episode of Hoarders, ya know there's a problem...