37 weeks with baby #2

Lazy. Tired. Fat. Uncomfortable. Excited. Anxious. Nervous. Hopeful. Ready....

These are the words that best describe me at this point. We are waiting for our second little one to join us, a baby boy that will change our family dynamic for the better. We have wanted this baby for a long, long time. God had a different timeline than the one I wanted, that's for sure. But I'm so happy to be where I am right now in life and so so thankful that we are about to be blessed with our second miracle.

I thought I wouldn't be worried at this point because we are practically there. My nurturing instincts long to hold this baby that I feel squirming and kicking in my belly. And our first born, she is SO SO ready and excited. She is 3 1/2 now my goodness. And she totally gets it. She really, really wants to be a big sister. And I know she will be a great one. She is so motherly to all her friends and toys and I can totally see her being such a great help to me when this guy gets here. She asks me questions like, "What will my brother look like?" and she is adamant that he will NOT have red hair, he will have brown hair like Mama. She is curious with all the baby items that are set up and organized around the house and wants to jump in and help wherever she can. Watching her excitement has me beyond thrilled. It wasn't the age gap that I wanted between my two babies, but this was the plan all along and I am very grateful that she shows such interest and excitement!

I am so ready for our family to grow into a family of 4 and watch Rory interact with her baby brother. I guess with all these emotions going through my mind as of late, I also allow myself to worry. I am a worrier by nature and don't take things in stride. I feel like I need to know how things are going to go before they happen so that I am mentally and physically prepared. That's just how I've always been, and that is not necessarily a good thing when it comes to having babies. I want the birth to go well (as all mothers do) and I envision it being a relatively smooth process like Rory's was. The difference this time around is that I have gestational diabetes, something I did not have with Rory. I was very thrown off when I was was told I had it because I'm not a typical candidate for GD. I cried and blamed myself for a few days after finding out the news. And then I felt sorry for myself because I wanted to indulge in all those yummy treats that you're given a free pass to when you're pregnant. "Oh, I am totally having that milkshake, I'm pregnant! Dude, that pizza will be amazing with that chocolate cake right after! Oh I obviously can't go to bed without a handful of amazing chocolates!" And let's top that off with me finding out literally days before Thanksgiving. So all those amazing treats were avoided, as were the Christmas cookies and, and dare I say it, seasonal Starbucks beverages that I wait a YEAR to enjoy. And before the lecture of "it could be a lot worse," yes, obviously I know that. I'm sorry if I sound selfish because I certainly don't mean to. What I will say is that having this diagnosis has also been a blessing in disguise. Physically, I wasn't feeling that great before being told I had GD. After changing my diet and exercise habits, I honestly feel great! My back used to ache horribly by the end of the day, and now I feel energized and way more upbeat than I did through my first pregnancy. I also haven't gained that much weight at this point (which is a huge plus obviously!) and am very confident that it will come off fairly quickly after having this guy. I plan to enjoy some of the cravings I missed out on while pregnant the first week after he's born, but then I will jump back on the wagon and follow this diet until the weight has come off. And exercise has been a huge part of this pregnancy that I really gave myself a pass from when pregnant with Rory. I love to exercise, don't get me wrong. My passion is running. But the idea of running with a big belly is just not my cup of tea. Certainly there are other mothers that do it but I am not one of them. Once the all clear is given to exercise again, I will be very happy and willing to get back out there. Running is a release for me and is very much a spiritual thing as well as physical. It's the one thing I'm sort of good at and I enjoy the fresh air. (So do Rory and Huey and I know they miss accompanying me on our runs.) Because I'm having this guy in the winter, I may confine us all to our playroom/workout room in the garage since we've got several heaters stationed around a great treadmill. I'm excited! Not as excited as I am to meet our baby boy, but excited just the same :)

Being a mom for a second time is a funny thing. I was looking back at my post from when I was 37 weeks pregnant with Rory and the nesting urge was in full overdrive back then! Not that I am not ready for this guy, but I just have not pressured myself to such necessities that seem so important the first time around. Brand new baby clothes just don't appeal to me these days (unless they are a gift of course!) I've been really into hand me downs and going to a great consignment shop and finding hidden treasures that will work perfectly for our little guy. This baby doesn't have a room either. I have set up a designated corner in our bedroom because I learned the first time with Rory that I am a co-sleeping Mama. I was very nervous to admit that with Rory because of the backlash I was afraid I would receive from others. But now I don't care what other people think. For me, that is what works best. I sleep best when my baby is next to me and we develop a beautiful nursing relationship. I discovered that I love wearing my baby the first time so I have no desire to stress about strollers and carseats and all that crap. Of course we still have all of it from the first time around from when Rory was a baby, but I know that, unless we are in the car, baby will be strapped to me or in my arms (if you're here, I promise I'll share him!) I wore Rory constantly and nursed her in our carrier and it was great. So easy. My arms were always free and she was happy. Oh and get this, I nursed her on demand too! No schedule for us! No looking at the time to see when she last ate. I didn't put her on a nap routine either. Just followed her cues and was really relaxed about it all. Thank goodness, because like I said before, I am not a relaxed person by nature. I know this baby will have a different temperament that Rory did. That is just human dynamics. But I also know how I am as a mother and I feel confident that my instincts will kick into overdrive just like they did the last time.

I am also aware that there will be a huge disruption in our daily routine in the upcoming weeks. No longer will I wake up to a cute little preschooler telling me about her dreams and what she wants for breakfast. More likely, it will be a little baby telling me he's hungry in the the middle of the night and then refusing to go back to sleep. I will no longer be able to take my time in the shower (if even get a daily shower at all as I'm so blessed with these days.) I will have to think about the extra items to bring with me every time we go out of the house since I'll have a baby in diapers again. It will be new and it will be an adjustment, but we are very ready for these exciting changes.

Speaking of exciting changes, we have learned of a new opportunity of where we could possibly move to in the upcoming months. I won't be saying where to yet because it isn't "official" in the military world but I will say it is a great change from where we are at now and I do hope that it all works out for the best. One of the first things you learn being in the military (active duty or spouse affiliated) is that things change a lot. And the way you envision your life going can change in the snap of the finger. Nothing is official until you literally are on a plane to your next assignment. Even shipping your household goods there doesn't mean it will happen. I actually have a friend that that happened to. Isn't that lovely?!?

So for now, we are in a waiting game. Waiting for our new baby. Waiting for our next assignment. Waiting for Mike to complete his training in the V-22. But the most recent wait that we will soon cross off our list is seeing Grandma Vee Bee in a little over two weeks! Yay yay yay! Huey and Rory and I are all so thrilled to have Veebs here for three whole weeks to help out! Or maybe baby boy will get here before her, but either way, we are so excited to welcome all the new company :)