Excuses, excuses

So I'm not such the blogger that I once was. I know this point to be true. But what I can do is list some excuses for why I've been so lame:

1. Every time I open up my computer to write my blog, Huey throws a spitty soccer ball in my lap and expects me to play fetch.

2. This one time, I really was going to write, and then I walked by my candy dish and stopped to eat one...two...three...ok four pieces of chocolate. Then I just had to lay on the couch and enjoy the bliss.

3. I always get the urge to write, and then Oprah comes on. Needless to say, I lose that urge as quickly as it came.

4. I like to read crap on the internet and I love to read other blogs. By the time it's my turn to work on my blog, I don't want to write about my own crap.

5. This "winter" weather has me focused on other things, like stretchy pants and TLC or Teen Mom. I don't leave much time for anything else.

6. Miraculously, a bomb went off in both Mike and my closets last week. All of our clothes came littering down in random piles in our room, the man cave, and the guest room. Then when I try to pick it up, a tornado sweeps through and ruffles up our bed. Needless to say, I'm exhausted, and therefore have to sit on the couch.

7. When it's time to write my blog, the door swoops open and one of my neighbors insists that we either go for a walk or come over to eat. How can I refuse such requests?

8. I swear someone is sneaking melatonin into my veggie burgers because after dinner I just slump over my plate and the next thing I know, Mike's carrying me to bed.

9. I'm trying to improve my French speaking skills by the help of Rosetta Stone. Heck, I gave up on Japanese the first session. It's just too damn hard.

10. And lastly, I've got this serious eye twitch. You know how those are, it's just a pain. It's hard to type with one randomly blinking eye. Seriously...this post took me two weeks to complete without any errors.

So there you have it. One of these days, you'll get an entertaining story from me.